April 9, 2015

The Ultimate Veggie Sandwich + EXCITING NEWS!!!

I am pregnant!!!! I still feels so weird to say it out loud, even at 4 1/2 months.
I've been pretty reluctant to tell people the news, after suffering a miscarriage last September. I am still in shock and disbelief that there is a tiny person living inside of me. I still get nervous at every doctors appointment when they look for the heartbeat. I usually start panicking a week before my ultrasounds. I am being ultra pessimistic this time around, and I'm hoping that once I start showing and can feel the baby kick, that things will become more real. Otherwise, I am so freaking excited.

Trying to conceive a child has been a long hard road for us. Back in late 2012, I returned home from a backpacking trip, excited and fully prepared to dive into the whole motherhood thing. This was a real shock for me and people I knew, because for the longest time I never considered having children. I guess something in me just changed. It was probably being around my sister's adorable children that got me thinking, hey, I could do this.

We started trying in late 2012, and I thought that I was immediately going to get pregnant, because that's what they tell you in sex ed class? I'm sure if you are 16 years old and not trying to get pregnant, it will happen, but for me, it did not happen this way. We tried for 7 months, and then I started to get nervous, so we went to see a fertility specialist. We had every test under the sun, and everything came back normal. You'd think that hearing the news that everything is fine would be reassuring, but when you are trying to get pregnant and there are no good reasons for why you're not (unexplained infertility) it is absolutely frustrating and extremely scary.

Brent is overly optimistic, so he was convinced that it was going to happen. I on the other hand, am overly pessimistic and was convinced that it wasn't going to happen. In early 2014 I started taking medication, and we did 4 rounds of IUI with no success. Our doctor suggested moving on to IVF, and I decided for my own sanity that I needed to take a break and stop trying. I needed to free myself from the stress and pressure that I was feeling to get pregnant.  I needed to start enjoying life again, because when you are trying to make a baby and you can't, it can become all consuming. Feelings of guilt, self pity, low self worth. I became completely obsessed with all things fertility, from reading fertility blogs, fertility chat sites, to acupuncture. I am now an expert on reproduction and fertility.

I started feeling anger and jealousy for the people I knew who were conceiving, which wasn't fair. I started to hate everybody and everything. And then one day I said enough is enough. I was not going to let this take over my life. I wanted to start enjoying things again. I wanted to get on with my life. Brent and I planned a week trip to the Gulf Islands. It was a well needed vacation. We spent the week drinking good wine, eating good food, camping. We spent 2 days at the most amazing spa, and then finished the trip with white water rafting. When we returned home, I started to get some weird symptoms: dizziness and frequent urination. I took a test, and sure enough, I was pregnant. Unfortunately, I suffered a missed miscarriage 10 weeks later.

I was completely devastated. For a few weeks, it seemed like I had things under control. I was socializing, laughing, enjoying myself. But then something snapped and I fell into an anxiety filled depression. I spent my days on the couch watching re-runs of the Gilmore Girls and drinking copious amounts of Whiskey. This went on for a few months, before I realized where things were going, and I pulled myself out. We went home for the holidays, and I guess with all the excitement and the fact that we weren't trying, because I just wasn't mentally there yet, I got pregnant again. It was an absolute shock.

I remember leaving an eye exam early January thinking that I felt a little different. I just had this feeling. I bought a pregnancy test and peed on the stick in the Oddfellows Cafe bathroom. I waited for the two lines to appear, and then I cried. For like 10 minutes, because I thought that we still had a long hard road ahead of us. For the first 10 weeks of this pregnancy, I haven't allow myself to become excited. I felt like I had made that mistake before, and to be honest, its pretty hard to get excited while you're busy being sick and or sleeping. But, we saw the baby for the first time on an ultrasound at 8 weeks. We heard the heart beat at 12 weeks. We had a detailed genetic ultrasound at 13 weeks, where we were able to see the baby move, bounce, and spin. I heard the heartbeat again last week, but I am still sssssooooo nervous. My doctor says that this is a somewhat normal feeling, and that I am probably going to worry for the next 20 years.

We found out a few weeks ago through a genetic test that we are having a BOY!!! It's funny because I thought it was a boy from the very beginning. We've now started thinking about names, and it is slowly starting to feel real. I am feeling much better now that I am into my second trimester. I am 17 weeks, and our little baby is due Sept 15. I figure that I will save all the details about my food cravings and what it's been like so far for another time. But for now, I though that I would share with you my favorite sandwich, one that I have been surviving off of for the last few months. I am sure that one day I will look back on this sandwich with disgust, because I literally eat it every other day. But for now, I'm still in love.





VEGGIE SANDWICH
makes 1 sandwich

2 slices whole grain seedy bread, toasted
1 oz aged cheddar
1 - 2 tbsp hummus
1 tbsp basil pesto
1 marinated artichoke heart, quartered
1/2 avocado, sliced
1/4 green pepper, sliced
3 green leaf lettuce leaves
salt and pepper



When I'm in a rush, I'll pick up some pre-made hummus and pesto from the deli. If you have the time and want to make some ahead to store in the fridge, I adore this pesto recipe and this hummus recipe.

Set the oven to broil.

Toast the bread.

Layer one slice of bread with cheese. Place in the oven and broil until the cheese is bubbly.

On the other slice, spread the hummus. Drizzle with the pesto, and layer with the artichoke hearts.

On the slice with the cheese, layer the lettuce on the bottom, followed by the green peppers and avocado slices. Season with salt and pepper. Bring both sides of the sandwich together, and then slice in half.

Serve with a pickle, and some regular ruffle chips.

49 comments:

  1. Ahhh CONGRATULATIONS!!! My heart went out to you reading this post -- what a long journey it's been. I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage, but so so happy to read this good news. Wishing you a safe, happy and healthy pregnancy and all the best!! This sandwich looks absolutely divine -- so nourishing and spring-y. Congrats again, Heather (and congrats on the Saveur nomination!!)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Everything will be alright. x

    ReplyDelete
  3. Congratulations! I suffered from infertility as well and I am so happy that you are on the other side of things now.

    ReplyDelete
  4. CONGRATULATIONS you two!! This post is filled with so many emotions, and so much honesty - thank you for that. I am so very sorry to hear about your miscarriage, but at the same time I am so happy to hear that you are now happy, healthy, and pregnant with a sweet baby boy!!! I wish you all the best! xox
    p.s. this sandwich looks fantastic!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. AAHHHH Congrats!!! Hearing your full story just makes this so much sweeter. I hope everything goes smoothly for you through the rest of this and that you will have a lovely healthy baby boy. So happy for you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Aw! I started getting teary-eyed reading this! Congratulations!!! So excited for you guys <3

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you for sharing your story; this will help lot of people who are experiencing the same thing. The struggles are so painful and relationship damaging at it worst, yet infertility is such a taboo topic. You two will make wonderful parents and I wish you all the best for this period of your life. Heather, I love the green on green in this sandwich! It is like food ombre!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Congratulations! I know a lot of women struggle in silence - thanks for sharing. He will be such a loved, well-fed little man!

    ReplyDelete
  9. ohmygoodness this is so exciting!!! i am so so so happy for you!!!!!!! if your son gets to bring sandwiches like this for his school lunches, he will be very very lucky :) biggest congratulations to you, my dear!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is so beautiful!!! Congratulations <3

    ReplyDelete
  11. Congratulations :DDD Kind of crazy how you just knew when it happened? Best of luck and hope everything is smooth sailing from now on !


    P.S. There needs to be more artichoke in sandwiches pronto.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Massive congratulations!! I can imagine it must be absolutely heartbreaking to struggle to conceive and then miscarry but I'm so happy for you that you're now doing well and have a little boy on the way!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Sending you the biggest congrats!! And looooove this sandwich you chose to post today. SO YUMMY!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Congratulations, Heather!! So very excited for you! And this sandwich -- I'm not pregnant but I want to eat it all day every day, too.

    ReplyDelete
  15. ahhhh!!! how wonderful!!!!! congratulations and many happy positive vibes your way!! i'm over the moon for the both of you!! and that sandwich looks delicious - much better than the old pile of nuts i was contemplating for lunch :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Congratulations! Such a hard fought battle, and what a beloved little man he will be :)
    Enjoy each step (and sandwich) of the journey.

    ReplyDelete
  17. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I am so happy for you!!! Reading your blog post actually brought a smile to my face — I can feel the joy radiating from your words. Congrats again — your future boy is so blessed with a mother who can make kickass bagels and pancakes.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thank you for sharing your story with us. It's clearly been a hard road but I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly. It won't be too long before you're holding your little man in your arms! Huge congrats!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Blessings on you and your little internal foodie! Keep us informed on your changes and cravings. It has been soooo long for me that I forgot how much food was a part of pregnancy! Best wishes for a happy, carefree pregnancy!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Congratulations on your pregnancy!!! I completely understand you, I went through the same with my son, having had a prior miscarriage, I was always panicking!!! But do try to losen up just a bit and enjoy, it is sooooo crazy and funny and delightful to have a tiny baby growing inside of us!!
    http://bloglairdutemps.blogspot.pt/

    ReplyDelete
  21. A massive congratulations!! What happy news - I love how real this post was too, hearing about the ups and downs of pregnancy but what happy news that a little ball of sunshine is coming your way!! Also, this sandwich!!! AMAZING!! Your son is going to have THE BEST packed lunches and you will be an amazing mother!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Congratulations! I'm really excited for you!

    P.S that sandwich is perfection!

    ReplyDelete
  23. So so happy for you!!! I had a similar road to pregnancy and I think it is so important to share your experience so other women don't feel so alone. I too felt nervous my entire pregnancy but at some point you just have to trust that all is going to be ok and it will be. (having a heartbeat monitor borrowed from a friend really helped- I could listen any time I wanted to!!!) May your journey be full of love and security and wisdom.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Congratulations on your news! I had a miscarriage last May and it was devastating. I was shocked at the depression and anxiety that followed. I am now a week away from my due date and I still get nervous when I have an ultrasound (I am high risk this go round and have had weekly ultrasounds since 30 weeks). Best of luck. I pray everything goes well with the rest of your pregnancy!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Congratulations! And thanks for your honesty on your experience with infertility. So many share your struggles but it's not something that we often talk about. Wishing you a joyful rest of your pregnancy!

    ReplyDelete
  26. biggest congrats to you two! i am unbelievably happy (is that weird because i don't even know you irl?). this post is beautiful (as is the sandwich!). wishing you a safe, happy, healthy pregnancy, birth, and baby boy. so exciting!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. ps - congrats on being a saveur finalist too!! :D

    ReplyDelete
  28. Stardancer10 April, 2015

    CONGRATULATIONS!!! That's lovely, especially considering your struggles. Thank you for sharing; I have had health problems in the past that make me nervous about my chances for conceiving, and I know that infertility is much more common than people think. It helps to know that life goes on regardless.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Gosh, congratulations. I'm just thrilled for you and your growing family. May everyone stay healthy and happy...

    ReplyDelete
  30. Congrats! All the best of luck with the pregnancy.
    Thank you for sharing your story. It is good to hear that others are going through similar troubles while trying to get pregnant.
    This sandwich looks so SO yummy! But I think, I can see lots of sweets for you in the near future.
    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  31. What an incredible story! Best of luck!
    Kari
    www.sweetteasweetie.com

    ReplyDelete
  32. YAY! So happy that things turned out great in the end even though it seems to have been a long journey for you. Congratulations and I'm looking forward to reading about the little baby on the blog :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. Huge congrats, Heather! I'm so happy for you both. Also, thank you so much for sharing your story with all of us – I'm so sorry for everything you've had to go through. I can only imagine how hard that all must have been. I've heard so many women and couples talk about the difficulties of getting pregnant, but these stories always touch me. xx

    P.S. That sandwich! Totally going to make some next week.
    P.P.S. It's a boy!! Yay!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Congrats to both of you! How wonderful. I am so happy for you. Thank you for sharing your story. XO.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Congratulations. :) Also this sandwich looks incredible. Love a good green avocado sandwich.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Congratulations! I don't normally like veggie sandwiches but this one looks too yummy to pass up!
    Kari
    www.sweetteasweetie.com

    ReplyDelete
  37. Congratulations <3 And that sandwich looks devine.

    ReplyDelete

  38. What a great idea! And it looks incredibly yummy also.
    Thanks for sharing this creative recipe, cheers!

    Here is myf little food recipe website if you have little bit time please viste my site http://recipefd.blogspot.com/

    And again Thanks for share this recipe ..

    ReplyDelete
  39. So happy for you! Thanks for sharing your story, and as always, thanks for sharing your recipes <3

    ReplyDelete
  40. Huge congratulations and so much hope for you! My husband and I lost a baby last year, and I went through some of the same emotions. After I had really grieved and processed and felt like I'd experienced real healing, I sort of moved on mentally and stopped thinking about having a baby at all. We bought a house, worked 24/7 on it and then, just as the bills were rolling in and freaking me out (also, notably, just a few weeks before our baby we lost would have been born), found out we were pregnant. This second time around has been so different, less optimism, less innocence, but, as time as gone on and we've passed one milestone after another, increasingly joyful. I felt guilty for a while that I wasn't more euphoric about such good news, but eventually I decided I can't control the future and if God lets us keep this baby, He will let us keep this baby and I will go with what happens. We're now 29 weeks and Baby kicks all the time and I just spent an hour or so organizing clothes in the future nursery. Life is a wild ride. I'm thankful for these good gifts and for the fact that I can't determine them. Rejoicing with you now!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Sending you positive vibes and a huge congratulations. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story. I struggled with infertility and had both of my children via IVF. My second pregnancy I was so paranoid that something would go wrong - I wouldn't even allow my family to throw me a baby shower for fear of jinxing the pregnancy! I hope it's smooth sailing for you, and that a sweet, healthy baby will be in your arms before you know it.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Congratulations!! Beautiful sandwich too :)

    ReplyDelete
  43. Congratulations! I can't think of a better way to celebrate than with this sandwich. It looks incredible!

    ReplyDelete
  44. This sandwich looks amazing! And congrats :)

    ReplyDelete
  45. Cucumber!!!!!!! Thinly sliced cucumber is a delicious add-on. everything else is heaven. So grateful for your cravings!!

    ReplyDelete
  46. This is amazing news! Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your story.

    Also, this sandwich is all the things! big, springy, messy, vegetable-y, balanced, perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Made this for sandwich night last night for dinner, and it was really delicious. Need lots of napkins and the ability to open your mouth really wide, but that didn't seem to be a problem for anyone here! Thanks for a great recipe.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Anonymous01 June, 2015

    My eyes teared up reading your post. I'm so happy for you and your family! I have a seven month old at home and still cant believe he is here! Every day I want to pinch myself... and every day I find something to worry about. I hope you and your partner get to enjoy your pregnancy and your little boy!!!

    ReplyDelete
  49. Sandwich looks delicious and congratulations. One book I recommend to all new mommies to be is Back Labor No More by Janie McCoy King. Order it today...I kid you not this is a must read. I did her "lift" with two of the three of my births and I wish I new this miracle lift for the first one! Remember to be in the place you want to be for the birth before you lift and if the baby is in the right position you will see him immediately.

    ReplyDelete